How to behave in a restaurant

When I eat out it often amazes me at how the other customers have no regard for the other diners, the staff of the restaurant or the venue itself. So I have put together a small guide of how to eat out!

Before you go out

Before you go out, consider why you are going out in the first place. If it is the local rugby teams going to celebrate their win, then decide on a restaurant that caters for that kind of noisy group. However if it is your first romantic dinner with the person of your dreams, you may want to go somewhere with candles and that "loving feeling."

Choose your restaurant carefully for not only your own needs, but also the needs of others. Can you imagine the results on the romantic couple if they get beer thrown over them by the rugby team? Not the best night possible!

Reservations

Most good restaurants get busy, so before you go, reserve your area or table well in advance. Don't expect that the restaurant will be able to accommodate 30 half drunk rugby players (by the way I have nothing against rugby players) without notice, likewise it could be good to plan you romantic night out by speaking to the staff first and explain what you would like, which table you would like and how they can handle things like billing, etc. If you want to make a good impression, pay for the meal before you go so that there are no embarrassing moments.

Dress Codes

When going to a restaurant, observe their dress codes. The restaurant owners want a certain type of clientele and they set dress codes accordingly. Not a good idea to go half naked with an adult diaper on to the 5 star restaurant even if you are going to the fancy dress party later. I know someone who actually did that and couldn't understand why they wouldn't let him in!

When you stand in front of the mirror before you go out, check that you are dressed accordingly for the venue. It will save embarrassing moments later.

Arrive on time

A few minutes early or late are acceptable, but anything more than 15 or 20 minutes is rude. If you are running late for any reason call the restaurant and let them know. Remember that restaurants are there to serve you, but also they need to make money so that they can serve you in the future.

Wait to be seated

If there is a sign that says "Please wait to be seated" then do wait. It is quite possible that they have a room layout for the night and they need to fit everyone in. If you don't get seated promptly let the staff know politely and ask to be seated without fuss.

Table ethics

Please mind your manners. Don't throw food around, don't spit on the floor, don't put your seat so far out from the table that you block the isles, don't speak to loud so that everyone in the restaurant can hear your life story, (we really don't care) don't smoke cigars unless it is allowed, (in fact more and more restaurants are no smoking now), don't bang your knife of the glass every time you want to say something, don't snap your fingers and shout "Garson!" every time you want the waiter.

Do be polite and courteous of other diners. Treat the staff nicely they want to serve you and anyway if you don't the head chef might spit in your food! At peak times in the restaurant notice that they may be more busy than normal and accept that there may be slight delays.

Ordering

Choose your food carefully and make sure the waiter repeats your order to you. Don't go to a restaurant and then sit there for two hours deciding on the food. Order promptly so that the staff can serve you well (unless you have made prior arrangements). Thank the waiter for bringing things to you. They are human beings and have feelings. They do exist and they are not your personal servant. Most of them work in this business because they love it. If something goes wrong with the order, if it is not life threatening it could be ok just to accept it as a mistake, but if you feel that something is really wrong, let the staff know discretely and politely.

Decide on eating what you want, not just eating the "special of the day" because the waiter is recommending it. Sometimes the "special" is the "special" because they want to get rid of it for some reason. Maybe they over ordered on wine and need to shift it fast. (I know this happens as I used to work in a restaurant myself).

Eating

When actually eating the food, remember that it has been lovingly prepared for you. Throwing it around the restaurant is a complete lack of respect. Again be observant of the people around you. Picking your teeth with your whole hand and sticking your fingers in your nose is not acceptable behavior in most restaurants. Don't eat too fast. Enjoy the food. Eating slowly is much better for you anyway. It aids digestion. However don't take so long that the food starts to decompose! Remember that the staff also has their homes to go to.

Desert and Coffee

After the main course, allow the food to go down a bit before taking desert or coffee. I have actually seen someone eating a main course and his desert at the same time. I wonder how beef and ice-cream tastes!

Check to see if the coffee is refill as it can get expensive after 10 fill-ups if it is not. If there is a group of you, you may even be able to get a group rate. Coffee can add a huge amount to a bill.

Paying the Bill

If you are a group, let the restaurant know if you want to pay individually before eating so that they can prepare the bills accordingly. Remember to take cash or credit cards with you as most places do not accept checks.

Pay promptly. Do check your bill. There are a few restaurants that "add-on" hoping that you won't notice, especially if you have had a few drinks. If there is a problem with the bill it probably is a mistake and if you notify the staff politely they will almost always change it for you. Do not make it out to be 3rd world war as it probably was a genuine mistake. If things can't be fixed ask to speak to the duty manager who will almost always have the authority to change it.

Tipping

The issue of tipping is one of my personal gripes in life. I believe that tipping should be at the sole discretion of the people eating and not compulsory. In fact it is not legal (in most countries) to demand a tip. My feeling is that the staff has been paid to do a job and they should do that job with all due care and excellence regardless of tip or not. If the staff should find that they are not getting many tips, maybe they should look at the quality of service as most people will willingly tip good service. If service has been exceptionally bad you are within your right to ask for it to be removed. Unfortunately, in some places they may not want you to come back if you do this, so you may want to expect some negative thoughts even if that is wrong. You may also want to tip a particular member of staff separately if they have performed really well. Don't forget to tip though if the service has been good. 10 to 15% is an acceptable amount. I actually saw a customer throw some coins at the bar as a tip once and he probably wasn't welcome again so remember to be polite and respectful when tipping.

Leaving the restaurant

Remember that the staff has probably been working most of the day, so they are tired. Try not to stay until you are the last customer and drag it out as they stack all the chairs on the table, turn out the lights and sit waiting for you to go home.

Also remember to thank the door man. I actually worked as a doorman for 6 weeks in London once and it was incredibly lonely as most people do not even see you let alone say hello. They are part of the restaurant experience and are there for your comfort, so remember to acknowledge them. It is actually really hard work standing on a door for 5 or 6 hours.

Remember also to observe the neighbors. People often live around a restaurant and having a brawling mob every night can be tiring. Even watching the romantic couple making out is not fun after the 1st or 2nd night. Screeching tires of your car, shouting good bye and other disrespectful actions will not get you any points and actually does damage to the restaurant. If enough neighbors complain about the noise the restaurant may eventually get closed down. What a shame that would be?

Finally

Going out should be a wonderful experience. The diners are as responsible as the restaurant for a good evening. It really is a two way effort. Try to remember your part of the night and that the world does not revolve around you. Observe the comments above and you should be in for a better time.

If not please let me know which restaurant you are going to so I can go somewhere else.

Tim Bennett

millionaireanonymous.com

How do I want my dining experience?

What makes a restaurant good?

Eating out can be expensive, so you want to know that if you go into a restaurant, you can be assured of a good time. Sorry to say this doesn't always happen.

When you go to a good restaurant you almost don't notice sometimes. Everything is so nice that you spend your time there without giving it a thought. That's how it should be.

For my part I like a restaurant where you can spend as long as you want talking and eating. Eating out is a social experience, even if you are alone. Sometimes I like to just sit in a restaurant by myself and watch the world go by and this should be as pleasant an experience to me as eating with friends.

Ambiance

First of all the appearance of the restaurant is important. Is it clean? Are the tables far enough apart for those quiet moments? Is the restaurant attractive? Is it in a nice safe area? Does it have the ambiance? Does it have style?

For eating purposes, I do not like a restaurant that is too noisy or busy. Background music should be set so that you can sit at a table and talk without having to shout at each other and there is nothing more ugly in a restaurant than a TV or video and what a horrible way to ruin a conversation. If you want to watch TV then stay at home.

Services and Staff

The staff should be friendly and polite. I know this is difficult sometimes as some of the customers can be a real pain, but that's part of life. They should also be conversant in the menu and know what is being sold. I hate it when they real of the "specials" so fast like a machine that you can't hear what they are saying and they normally lack enthusiasm anyway.

I can't stand it when the waiters hover around your table all the time. Every time you touch something, they are there to put it back into its correct place, 1 mm away from where I put it. Let me eat and talk to my friends without disturbing me all the time!

Service is the key to a good restaurant. You should be seated promptly and politely and a glass of water and bread should be standard. However please don't try and be my best friend as you are not and it is sickly to think it will help sell food. Balance is in order and the staff should be aware of what's going on.

Another thing that gets me going is when the waiters look everywhere except where any other customers are seated. Aren't they there to serve? Then occasionally look at us and check we are ok.

How meals are served

Timing is everything. I love it when you order something as a group and the kitchen staff has been trained how to time the cooking of food so that it all comes together. It is so horrible when one meal is served in front of one guest while al his friends watch him eat it or he lets it go cold being polite waiting for the rest to come.

Get it right. Bring all the food together! We want to eat together!

Allow time between courses. Just because I have finished my main course doesn't mean I want desert within a minute. Let it go down first and then when we have finished remember to offer coffee within the correct amount of time.

Bills and Tips

Getting the bill can be so annoying. Waiting for 15 to 20 minutes for a bill is not acceptable and please does not put service charge on it. Service charge is a reward for good service and not compulsory. I do not want to be embarrassed for taking it off because your service was shoddy nor should I be expected to pay for it. Good service will be rewarded and if the staffs are not getting service tips, then they surely need to improve their service.

Prices

I also realize that we are all in business to make a profit, but I really begrudge paying 300 pesos for bread or some other ridiculous price for an item.

Creativity

Creativity is another must. It is a bit pointless five restaurants next door to each other all offering chicken adobe and rice. I am sure that you can think of something better than that.

Cleanliness

My last point is the toilets or CR. These should be clean. They should have running water, cold and hot and they should have toilet paper. Please have seat lids and also have someone clean then every so often. Check towels, soaps etc.

Good restaurants are very hard to find, but when they are they should be cherished and rewarded with great patrons. I will willingly go to a restaurant that takes time to look after me, remember my name, give me a good time and great food and respect my distance when eating.

Eating is one of man's greatest pleasures and should be enjoyed to the full.

Tim Bennett
Millionaire Anonymous Inc.